Atlanta Publix FULL Marathon

My mind was blown at my very first race expo. There was free food, cheap running attire, and lots of cute running trinkets that I didn't need that stretched from one end of the conference center to the other. Several race advertisers were set up with information and registration for half and full marathons all around the US. As I walked past the Publix Marathon table and the medal caught my eye. I stopped and picked up the medal. I couldn't imagine what it would feel like to have it placed around my neck. The young lady working the booth noticed me and encouraged me to register. I was very hesitant, I was about to run my first half the next day (Thanksgiving Half Marathon). She also informed me that I would get a free t-shirt for registering with her and ten dollars off, who doesn't love a free t-shirt? So I did it.

Registering of course means nothing. After my experience with the half I wasn't sure I ever wanted to run again. My inability to retain fluid after long runs really put a damper on my training. I did several long Saturday runs, never exceeding 13 miles. I also ran the Locomotive Half in Kennesaw, GA to prepare. The marathon loomed over my head for weeks. I knew I was not putting in the necessary mileage. I made the decision to just run the half marathon and train for a marathon at some other point when I was more prepared. Then I heard about Dean Karnazes. He ran 50 marathons in 50 days in 50 states. I watched his documentary. I was fascinated. If he could do that surely I could run the full. I did some research to see what would happen if I ran without being fully trained. Most people said to expect it to take a long time and expect to be sore. I could live with that. 

 We woke up at 4:45 race day. We decided Chris would just drop me off near the start corrals and come back later to be there at the finish since I anticipated it would take me more than six hours to finish. Chris pulled up next to Phillips Arena. I could see all the runners in their brightly colored attire moving in the same direction. This was is. I grabbed my iPod and gave Chris a kiss. I could feel the anxiety in my chest. A few tears rolled down my cheeks. I told Chris I was scared. I was terrified of not finishing. He said a few words of encouragement and I hopped out of the car. The cold wind cut right through me as I started to make my way to the start line. I could here the announcers voice booming over the crowd. I made my way to my corral and started to stretch. Someone sang the national anthem. Music blasted and people joked and laughed with their friends. Why did I look so tense and terrified? Their bibs said it all! Half marathoners! 

Finally we were off. We walked about a fourth of a mile to the start line. People were screaming and cheering on both sides. I felt so proud. Then it hit me. I had to pee. So bad. I didn't know what to do. Time was already ticking and I only had seven hours to finish. Plus I was still stuck in corrals. I tried to ignore the pressing urge to pee and focused on crossing the start. I got chills as I crossed the line. As soon as I went through I started to trot. You have to take it a little slow off the line because there are way too many people crammed together. It was still dark as the heard of runners made their way down the road. I tried to focus on my surroundings...but I had to pee so bad. Within the first mile the opportunity presented itself. I saw the McDonalds from a distance and started to plot my route. I had to sprint across the street full of runners. I grabbed the door and busted into the McDonalds. The woman behind the counter was saying something to me but I had headphones in. I crossed my fingers and grabbed the bathroom door. It opened! I ran in, did my business and ran out. I made my way back into the street feeling much better. The whole ordeal took less than a minute. 

Miles one through five went by so fast. Too fast. I kept trying to keep up with the people around me. However, I kept forgetting to think about the fact that most of them were running HALF the distance I was. I tried to slow myself down to a ten minute a mile pace. I did not train much with food, but I didn't have a choice. My stomach was rumbling and I knew I needed the calories. The first station I came to had jelly beans. I thought why not? I shoved a handful in my mouth. I did not consider that they were the strange flavored ones...EW! I could taste butter and all kinds of crap. I grabbed an extra water to rinse my mouth with. I kept chewing the glob in my mouth, trying to swallow as much of the sugar as possible. I had to spit out most of it out. 

The race led us through Little Five Points and not long after that the full marathon split from the half marathon. Thank goodness! I was so tired of keeping up with them! There were so few people going to the left for the marathon. Everything in my being wanted to go right. I thought about it. I had time to go right. I looked forward. I could do this. As soon as I decided I could do it, I knew I had to figure out how. I knew I was going to have to walk some. I did some quick math and decided to walk one minute every ten minutes. The hills started to get more frequent and more steep. I stuck to my 10 minutes running and one minute walking for a few miles. This system gave me something to look forward too. Around mile ten I started to feel some discomfort on the top of my left foot and in my right knee. I tried not to focus too much on that. Every now and then my walk would happen going downhill and I would postpone it. Can't walk DOWN hill!!! It was around this point that I got passed by the 4:10:00 pace team...I knew I was in trouble (my pace was too fast). 

The half way mark came in Decatur. It felt like the whole town was there to cheer us on. The aid station had oranges. The orange was the most delicious thing I ever ate. I wanted to stop and sit there and eat oranges all day. I tried to savor my last slice but it was gone so fast. I ran twenty or thirty minutes straight because there were so many people out and I didn't want them to see me walking. Mile fourteen and fifteen came and went. Some kind child handed me a pink Popsicle. That really hit the spot. 

Mile sixteen was a struggle. I walked two minutes instead of one. I was still TEN miles from the finish. I had some doubts now. My knees hurt. My hips started to ache. My feet also had nagging pains in the arch, heel, and top of foot. Mile seventeen I walked three minutes. It was all uphill. I decided I would not run up another hill. I could not make myself run up a half mile hill at this point. Mile eighteen was also riddled with steep inclines. I tried to make myself run a straight stretch. My legs would not cooperate. The fatigue had set in. My hips really ached. I tried to focus on one pain at a time. I turned a corner and there was a long uphill stretch. People were passing me quickly. Why weren't they tired?! I saw a police officer. I thought about calling Chris. What would I say? I can't do this? How would he react? I passed the officer and kept going. There were people sitting outside of their houses watching. I could use their cell phones. I didn't want to finish. I didn't care. I still had EIGHT miles to go. Everything hurt. I hated that I was doing this to myself. I started to stubble some. I was done. So done. I could feel panic rise in my chest. I couldn't breathe. I choked a little and gasped for breath. I started to cry. I realized I couldn't cry. I cried because I couldn't cry. Finally a few tears rolled down my cheeks. I stopped moving. I bent over and let my knees rest on the ground. The pain did not stop. My body throbbed. I cried. Still the tears would barely form. I felt a hand on my shoulder. An older man was asking if was ok. I most certainly was not! I wanted to tell him that. But something within me would not allow myself to do it. I assured him I would be ok. I picked myself up of the side of the road. The man did not looked convinced. I am sure I looked like roadkill coming back life. I nodded my head trying to assure him and myself that I was ok. I started a light jog. 

The next few mile I somehow had the energy to keep running. I even ran up a hill. I started to take in the sights again and try to enjoy my surroundings. Anything to take my mind off the pain. We ran past so many beautiful houses and interesting people. There were a lot of people out in there yards partying it up for St. Patty's Day. There was one house that even set up their own aid station! They had there kids out pouring water for us. The adults were pretty trashed so I was skeptical of the water... I passed but I thought it was a nice gesture. 

Finally we ran into Piedmont Park. I remembered thinking that was close to the end. Sure enough the mile twenty two marker. FOUR miles to go. I could do that. I ran as long as I could. Then I would walk. Repeat. Random strangers called my name and encouraged me to keep going. Two more miles down. We ran past GA Tech. There were photographers taking our pictures. I knew this meant we were close. I wanted to be done SO BAD. I decided I would own that last mile. I kicked it up a notch. I was passing all kinds of people. People that had passed me miles back were walking. I saw people walking towards me with their metals in tow. There was a marker every fourth a mile. I counted it down. I ran faster. I pulled my ear buds our so I could take this in. I could hear the man's booming voice over the PA. I couldn't see the line though. I wanted so badly to see the finish line. I rounded a corner and finally there it was. I could see my time. I could hear the man calling out my name. I wanted to pause time. This was my moment. I crossed the finish line. I had to tell myself to stop running. It hurt to not run. Volunteers were patting me and handing me water. Photographers were snapping my picture. It was all surreal. Finally that medal that I dreamed about was placed around my neck. A lady wrapped me in a space blanket. I looked up and their was Chris on the other side of the gate. I wanted to jump over the barrier. I had to keep moving forward. The gate led me around a corner and into the park where Chris was waiting. He grabbed me and I collapsed into his arms. I started to sob. I was shaking all over. I was in shock. Chris dragged me to a seat. I was laughing and crying and trying to fully realize that I was done. I took my water slow (lesson learned). I laid down on the grass. I was so happy. My entire body ached, but it didn't matter.

I walked to car without stopping for breaks. The weight of the medal around my neck gave me strength. The medal symbolizes the thousands of steps I took to get to that point. If I would have quit at mile eighteen I would have regretted it forever. I will always remember mile eighteen and the courage that it takes to pick yourself up and keep moving forward.